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One of the
most positive things I have done in my 20’s is completely selfish! I spent a
good chunk of my last 10 years trying to answer the question: Who am I? You
always hear that your teen years are a time of self-discovery and
experimentation. What people don’t tell you is that this phase lasts until about
your late 20’s…great.
This was no easy
task. I had to make a conscious effort consistently over time to get a genuine
sense of myself. At the end of it all, I was not who I thought I was. BUT I
finally saw myself with no filter or edit. Now I had a baseline to start from to get to
the person I wanted to be.
Why I did
it.
Happiness – The only way I want to live
the rest of my life is in happiness. Though happiness is subjective, it’s
definitely rooted in understanding yourself. Knowing what you really want and
why you want it can play a role in achieving your true happiness.
Better Relationships – In order to have
stable relationships with the people closest to you, you need to know who you
are! A lot of problems are caused because people don’t know what they actually
want or they refuse to recognize their shortcomings. Once you stop putting up a
front for others, you can spend more time enjoying and improving the
relationship.
Success – It takes courage to admit
that there are areas in your life where you just suck, and some maturity to be
ok with this. A person with real self-awareness knows this is the key to
succeeding in any aspect in life. Why? Because you know what areas to improve
on and you can begin to make positive and necessary changes to become that
version of yourself you always wanted to be.
Strength – Being a strong person has
always been important to me. I was brought up to be self-sufficient and not to
rely or depend on anyone. I want to be tough so I could take anything that gets
thrown at me. Unfortunately my definition of true strength was all wrong. My
vulnerabilities became the source of my strength.
How I did it.
Be honest with yourself! – Everything only
started falling into place once I became honest with myself. That is really the
first step. Part of that is acknowledging your flaws, or like I mentioned
earlier, knowing what areas you suck in. Also give yourself some credit for the
awesome parts about you!
Eff the critics! – You need to stop
caring what people think. If you give less importance on the opinions of
others, you will find that it will be easier to accept your shortcomings and
easier to do what you feel necessary to improve your life. Your happiness should not be correlated to the number of “likes” you get.
Only worry about what you can control –
There are things that you have the power to change and there are things you can’t.
It’s useless to focus on things you can’t change because that is the outcome
regardless of what you do. It is also a waste of time thinking about the past
and what “could have been” because that, too, is out of your hands. What can you
do NOW?!
Open your mind – Be open to learn new
things that have a positive impact. Be open to the idea that you
are not always right. Be open to step beyond your comfort zone.
What I got
out of it.
I am happy. I wake up
almost every day with positive vibes. I am humble and grateful for everything I
have. I am hopeful for my future. And on a day-to-day basis I’m WAY less
stressed out than I used to be.
My temper is controlled. I’m
significantly less defensive than I have been in the past. I’m still
confrontational, but I’m smarter about it.
I have stronger interpersonal skills –
I’m more understanding of people’s situations even though I may disagree with
it.
I am becoming a better person – Since I
have acknowledged my flaws, I am now able to change things about myself that I
don’t like. I am also sincerely trying to emulate qualities that I admire in
people. When I am in my deathbed, I want THAT woman to be the BEST possible
version of myself because I never want to stop the journey of self-improvement.
I am stronger – Being vulnerable was a
no-no for me. But I realize now that it takes an enormous amount of strength and
courage to allow myself to be vulnerable. I am still badass though.
I make better use of my time – I have
wasted so much time hating, complaining, and being angry when I could have been
doing something more productive. I still vent, don’t get me wrong. But it’s
just to make me feel better then I continue about my day.
I found my limits - I am human and I do have limits. Now I know what it is and where they are. I know which ones can't be crossed and which ones that bend.
Many people have been asking me how I feel to be turning the big 3-0. My response? I couldn't be more thrilled! I am the most confident I have ever been and I can say this time around I am WAY more prepared for this next decade to come!
Many people have been asking me how I feel to be turning the big 3-0. My response? I couldn't be more thrilled! I am the most confident I have ever been and I can say this time around I am WAY more prepared for this next decade to come!
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