Cut The Fat

I spent this half of this past Canadian Thanksgiving weekend with my friends. As we drove through northern wilderness, we recalled one of their Instagram post:

She was coming out of a rough summer and recovering beautifully. But it just reminded me of a similar time in my life when I was struggling to let go of things that I were important to me. 

I used to be the type of person who makes all the effort to keep in touch with people. I thought it was such a waste to lose friends over a decline in communication. So I always made the effort. Since hitting rock bottom and kicking ass on my “comeback” a couple years ago, I realized I have been carrying around too much fat. Not physically (ok maybe a little) but emotionally. There were too many unnecessary things in my life that weren’t contributing anything positive. So it was time to cut out the fat.

I began thinking, why was I caring so much for people who didn’t care about me? I was letting people’s lack of effort bring down my mood and confidence. When did this relationship become one-sided? I was being taken for granted. I have never felt a lonelier feeling than this. You were around people who created a façade that made you feel that they cared about you. And you believed that, until you were no longer beneficial for them.

REAL friendship is not based out of convenience or selfishness. Obviously, right? But sometimes these types of relationships are hard to distinguish from the real ones because when times are good they feel so similar. I am sure the only way to find out is when a difficulty is introduced. Who will go out of their way for you? Who will choose you over their comfort? Sometimes the people you don’t interact with regularly are the ones that step up. These are your genuine homies.

I am sure we all have people we cared about disappear from our lives. It is easy to be angry and hateful. These emotions are very natural when you are hurt. But I made a conscious effort to not be angry or hateful. I had to keep reminding myself that at one point these were people I valued my friendship with and truly loved. If I really did care about them, I would let go without resentment. The relationships were good while they lasted and now it has just evolved into something different. Don’t hold on to more negativity than you have to. Keep your heart open

It wasn’t them who changed because they have always been this way, I just didn’t notice. Now it’s me who is changing. I have come to the point in my life where I am making the decision to be the happiest I can be. I want to share my life with people who won’t leave me hanging with the bill, who will have my back no matter what, and who will call me out on my shit. These are the people I deserve to have in my life.

Haliburton Thanksgiving 2015

It isn’t easy letting go of something you loved. It is actually the hardest thing to do. This was a huge challenge for me to overcome because when I made the decision to cut the fat, I still cared about these people. But once I allocated more time to those who actually valued my relationship with them, I yielded more in return. I am grateful for the people I have in my life. I am grateful for the people who allow me to reconnect with them. And I am grateful for people who want to be part of my life. It is ok to liberate yourself from inadequate relationships. You will find your life to be more fruitful and efficient when you just CUT THE FAT!

If you are a friend reading this, drop me a line. Even though it’s been years or just yesterday, I would LOVE to catch up with you!